How To Break The Cycle of Undesired Behaviors

You have already done the behavior before you actually did it.

How then, does one go back into time to break the cycle before it actually happens? Unfortunately, we can’t just hit up an Avenger to borrow the Infinity Time Stone to go back in history. But, what we CAN do, is recognize the chain of events that worked together to lead up to the final undesired behavior. The Behavior Chain Analysis technique originally came from working with folks struggling with addiction and/or self harm, but it's application can easily be expanded into virtually any behavior that would like to be changed, eliminated, or improved upon, albeit going to the gym more or less binge eating, etc. 

So much of what drives our behaviors are the thoughts we tell ourselves about a given situation as well as our vulnerabilities or "triggers". Some things I always ask folks when I first began working with them are: how is their sleep, what are their eating habits, what is their self-care like, and what are their triggers that cause them distress. In my experience, these serve as some strong vulnerabilities that can lead to trouble later.  Self-awareness and prevention are key. By simply being aware of these things and knowing yourself well enough ahead of time allows you to call yourself out in the moment, thereby being more easily able to intervene and break the chain before it's too late. In other words, being able to recognize the "this is a trigger for me”, “so if now Im thinking this way, Im feeling these emotions, and if Im in these types of situations, these triggers will cause me to be more prone to engage in a problematic behavior in the end".  

Take for example - you are likely more vulnerable to overeat at night (problem behavior) when you don't eat enough food during the day.  This vulnerability of not eating enough during the day may lie dormant throughout the day until a specific prompting event occurs that ignites the chain of events to begin. That specific prompting event could be a bad day at work, and/or being triggered from a negative interaction with someone.  And now down the rabbit hole you go:  This negative situation then causes you to think a certain way - "my boss makes me feel like my Dad did when he put me down, I'm not good enough and undeserving of good things, I can't cope with this bad day."  These awful thoughts then prompt one to feel emotions of anxiety, defeat, guilt, sadness. These emotions then cause the body to feel a certain way - tired, shaky, heavy, the fight-or-flight reaction.  You are now needing that physiological comfort to cope, which, yep, you guessed it, will cause one to engage in that problem behavior of skipping out on the gym, isolating, and overeating.  At this point you are feeling pretty bad about yourself, you just need to cope in the most comforting, easy, and familiar way you know. After all, you've just told yourself in your thoughts, "Im undeserving of good things anyways, why should I take care of myself through nourishing food, reaching out to my coach, and get a good workout instead?"  The consequences - you feel uncomfortably full, are now nursing a crap food hangover, weren't able to receive support from your coach or be in a supportive environment at the gym,  unable to give yourself a corrective experience, and thus this cycle perpetuates (more guilt, sadness, more comfort eating, isolating, etc) which makes the cycle increasingly more difficult to break in the future:

     VULNERABILITY  (didn’t eat breakfast)

               —>  TRIGGER  (negative feedback from boss)

                         —>  THOUGHT  (“I’m not good enough)

                                   —> EMOTION  (defeated, guilty)

                                            —>  BODY SENSATION  (lethargic, heavy)

                                                     —>  UNDESIRED BEHAVIOR  (skip gym, binge eat dinner)

                                                              —>  CONSEQUENCE  (feeling more defeated & guilty, overly full)

You can't change an emotion, you can't directly change a body sensation, but you CAN change the direction you are starting to go by being aware of the triggers you are experiencing and changing your thoughts and behaviors (i.e. go to the gym after work or reach out to your coach). To take it step even further, as the health and wellness pros from https://thrivestry.simplero.com/ mention on their podcast, replace the negative trigger with a positive one ex - you just received negative feedback at work, now go back to your desk to read that positive self affirmation sign you strategically have next to your computer. Or meditate on three things you did right today. Thus, you've broken the chain, the cycle, thereby providing yourself with better experiences in those moments, as well as a "corrective experience" - meaning, you've experienced a situation that just proved you wrong. “I AM good enough, I AM deserving, I DO have control of my behaviors".

~ You’ve got this!