Spring Bloom & Gloom: It's Not Just Pretty Flowers. Here's How to Understand Why & How to Cope

Spring is in full swing as we are defrosting from the winter months. Some folks may be recovering from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) while others may be defrosting from the winter months thawing out and feeling some raw emotions. As such, this can be an understandably intense time of year “clinically” in my field, so I’d like to validate anyone who finds themselves with “the feels” a little more than normal right now this time of year and to offer some tips on what to do about it.

Being Content with Being Discontent

Our society has it all wrong. The secret to a satisfying life ISN’T to try to seek happiness all the time, rather, it’s to allow ourselves to be content with just being. With just being present in whatever moment and emotion we are currently experiencing. Being content with being discontent. We waste so much of our life seeking out external things to try to fulfill us in the attempt to make ourselves filled and happy - whether it’s through obtaining material things, gaining approval or attention from others, looking a certain way externally, engaging in high profile activities, overindulging in food, alcohol, and drugs, etc.  As long as we continue to seek happiness from external meaningless things, we will never have the ability to fill ourselves up internally and be ok with the shifting of emotions. We won’t grow. As long as we have a pulse, the sadness, hurt, anger, and fear will always come and go. The more we fight it and deem it “bad” to feel, the stronger it takes hold of us.  So switch the intent. Focus on being ok with not being ok, because most of the time, those uncomfortable thoughts and feelings are there for a purpose; to tell us something about ourselves and our current lives that maybe need to be looked at and modified. No feeling is ever final. Not only will this feeling of being content with discontent provide us with more strength to sit with pain, we will also have the ability to find more joy internally from the smaller things in life, which then in turn (low and behold) provides for ultimately more joy in the end.

Exhaustion for a Reason

Listen to what your body is trying to tell you. The mind-body connection is absolutely fascinating in the ways in which our emotional and mental processes manifest physically. Exhaustion is just one common manifestation of what is happening emotionally for somebody.  Just as an athlete needs to rest from the exhaustion after a triathlon, you too have to rest after doing an emotional marathon of working through your inner world of growth. Looking inward to acknowledge difficult emotions, memories, experiences requires a lot. This work can be just as tiring as physical work. As I’ve said before, if what you’re going through internally isn't making you exhausted and emotional at times, you’re not doing it right. Just because you aren’t physically doing something, doesn’t mean you’re not doing a lot of internal work emotionally and mentally.    

Compassion with Meeting Yourself Where You’re At

Give yourself permission to not go 100% every day. Just like an Olympic weight lifter in their inability to be able to lift at their 100% heaviest max rep every day, we too are not expected to function at 100% all the time. Give yourself permission to “meet yourself where you’re at”, meaning, if the best you can do today is to take a shower and respond to only five emails, then be ok with that. Refill yourself by taking some time for you in whatever way that makes sense. This will be a lot more effective in getting back to your “100% one-rep max” in life the next day or so. As I’ve said before, the most selfless thing one can do is to put themselves first in order to be their best for others.

Underwhelmed from Expectation

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) can be a crippling depressive disorder for many who are predispositioned for developing it. During the winter months, we have shorter days which means less exposure to the sun thus physiologically affecting your mental well being. Literally dark days lie ahead for people with SAD and this continues well into the second or third month of the year. Sometimes the anticipation of knowing the light at the end of the tunnel is approaching provided a great deal of hope. However, sometimes people will find themselves in the middle of Spring with longer, brighter days, and still don't quite feel the way they were hoping to emotionally. The is the underwhelm of expecting to feel much better, which in turn, can prolong that depression because of the disappointment. This is likely an indication that some deeper level work needs to be done about yourself and/or the life around you. Take this as an opportunity to take inventory on what needs to be changed, “pulled” from your life, a little spring cleaning if you will.

Take a Lesson From Spring and Grow New Life

As aforementioned, a little spring cleaning goes a long way, whether it’s cleaning out your home, renewing your garden, ridding yourself of not so healthy habits, correcting negative self talk, or removing negative people, this time of year is an opportunity for new life in all aspects that work for you. Now that you’ve pulled out those weeds, you may notice you’ll have a little more “room” in that garden we call life. And with that extra room, you will find yourself feeling renewed, with more energy and space to put into and strengthen the relationships with yourself, those that matter and the activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.

~ You’ve got this!