The Powerful Effects of Gratitude & Negativity Bias...Even Whilst Attacked by a 2-Pound Kitten

I recently was found by a 5-week old kitten as I was finishing my run in a park. She was covered in thorns and dirt and was very malnourished, no other cats in site, but a lot of large predatory birds. Needless to say, I adopted her and she was quickly well received and loved by the family including our 85 pound American Bully, Lilly. My heart is still full of gratitude for the joy this new family member provides us and from being able to give her the chance (I named her “Sjanse”, Norweigen for “chance”) for a better life. And of course, with this joy, comes the natural annoyances that a young kitten brings at times, especially for the Bully. Specifically, Sjanse’s love for attacking Lilly’s tail. There was one particular day I observed Sjanse’s attack as it went completely unnoticed by Lilly, not at all bothered by the assuming painful feelings associated with her tail being bitten, because Lilly was thoroughly enjoying eating a bone in that moment. Nothing else mattered as she was subconsciously practicing gratitude for that bone.  

So what is gratitude then? There are different definitions, whatever, but I like to describe gratitude as: having the intentional recognition of feeling positive regard in a given moment inwardly acknowledging something in your life. In other words, choosing to take a moment to feel positive about some stuff. The source of that reception can be from others, from your own doing, or from the general world around you - Gratitude for others can be for your spouse opening your car door for you or for kissing you on the forehead every morning as they leave for work. Having gratitude for yourself for being able to perform your work tasks effectively or for having the discipline to obtain your athleticism. One can feel gratitude for what the world provides - the seasons or what is around you while you hike or surf. Notice how seemingly simple and small these items of gratitude are? That’s the point. There is so much around us to be grateful for, so easy to obtain, yet, it is so easy to overlook. Some reasons for overlooking -

The concept of “negativity bias”, of seeing the negative first, has served us in our ability to survive in more primal times and, arguably, still to this day in certain environments. Generally in today’s society for example, if applied accurately, it creates an essence of being “street smart”. Meaning, if we weren’t primarily vigilant towards the potential negative or threatening things in our environment first, we’d likely run into some trouble. Concrete example - if one of our ancestors instinctually walked over to smell the new flower blooms without first being mindful of what else is in their surroundings, they may get attacked. If we crossed the street without looking both ways, we are vulnerable to getting hit by a car. So essentially it is our instinct to seek out and pay more attention to the negative around us. However, our brain knows no difference between whether it’s that bear around the corner or our perceived “threat” in immediately assuming that the person didn’t text you back because you did something wrong. It’s all a threat and we go there first. That hurts our gratitude vibe. Some people can be more prone to having more prominent negativity bias because of what they have endured in their past. Negativity bias can serve a purpose, but can also serve as an obstacle in internalizing the positive when it’s actually called for instead. This then can increase depression, anxiety, life dissatisfaction, can affect our general well-being and even our physical health. Think about it - if all you see is negative, if all you seek is negative, that shapes how you view the world, yourself, and others and will definitely have some lasting effects on you. This negativity bias can serve as an obstacle to feel gratitude. Using Lilly and Sjanse’s example - Lilly’s negativity bias of having her tail attacked could have overridden her gratitude over her bone, but the positivity she was feeling was stronger. If you are too hyperfocused on the negative, it makes it difficult to stop and internalize all the positive that you are overlooking in your current world. 

Take another example - If you’re an athlete or consistently training for something, then you already know how much patience and discipline it takes in your journey. It gets really easy sometimes to get overwhelmed in all that you’re having to do in order to succeed with the “big” goal. With that daunting task, it’s also really easy to get stuck with focusing on the negatives of what you aren’t doing right still, of what you aren’t yet, and of what needs to be improved. Whether it’s your form, your speed, your grit, or strength. You are not your max pull-ups or mile run time and stop focusing on this negativity. Be mindful of this negativity bias instead, and keep yourself in check with your training by acknowledging and practicing gratitude in what you HAVE been able to accomplish so far. Gratitude for the “small” goals along the way make a huge difference and will make or break an individual’s success. This gratitude practice keeps you in the game (pun intended) for the long run. Own what you’ve done and be proud of yourself. It goes a long way in re-centering you and fostering your motivation to keep going.

Other obstacles for being able to reap the benefits of gratitude can include a person’s disposition of being cynical, jealous, materialistic or narcissistic. These states or traits will override the ability to feel gratitude because of the very things these traits consist of - cynicism consists of a heart that is not open to receive positive from others or the world. Jealousy consists of discounting and undermining what you already have for yourself. Materialism sets one up for lasting emptiness and dissatisfaction because it creates an infinite famish to continue acquiring more “things”. Narcissism consists of feeling chronically empty because of lack of insight to make internal changes and instead using or manipulating others or things to try to fill that void, which also can bring entitlement and more lasting dissatisfaction.  

This isn’t to say to deny any negative feelings that do come up. Negative emotions are generally there to guide you. Afterall, life is full of negative and it serves no purpose and in some cases can even do us more harm if we deny ourselves the necessity to acknowledge and to let in those negative emotions at times. But don’t get stuck with them. Make the shift using gratitude in that moment to help bring you out of that negative state of mind. Paradoxically, feeling gratitude can also bring to mind negative emotions (indebtedness or guilt for example), which then serves to enhance motivation in putting forth more effort to improving the self and relationships, thus a more satisfying and enriched life as a result. Gratitude undoes the effects of negative emotions. It helps cancel it out. I invite you that next time you are feeling overwhelmed from anger, anxiety or sadness, stop yourself in your tracks and identify five things you are grateful for. Watch what happens. 

I like to say, when you are holding gratitude in front of you, nothing can be taken away from you in that moment while the negative experiences in our mind are put to the side. It is virtually impossible to hold negative emotions at the same time you are holding gratitude. Don’t believe me? I dare you, try it. I’ll wait. The research supports that statement. The research has also been firmly established in showing the many ways gratitude makes a profound impact on not only our well-being, but also mental health symptoms, and physical health. In general, practicing gratitude on a regular basis has found to:

• increase: happiness, resilience, motivation, self-esteem, hope, empathy, optimism, humility, enhances feelings of love, connection with others

• improve: sleep, patience, heart health, the immune system, relationships

• decrease: burnout, inflammation, anxiety, depression, stress, insecurity, dissatisfaction 

Psychologist Rick Hanson, Ph.D., specifically mentions how regular gratitude practice can literally reshape the neural pathways in your brain. So what does this mean? Your brain’s wiring determines among a lot of things, how you view the world. So by practicing gratitude on a regular basis, you will literally change the way your brain is wired in viewing the world, self, and others in a much more realistically positive way. This would make sense then of thus causing the above list to take place. 

All of the benefits from something seemingly so simple. You can practice gratitude anytime, it just takes a few moments, yet can completely transform your well being.  This morning, this afternoon, and this evening - identify three simple things you are grateful for (So nine gratitude items total). I recommend writing this exercise, as handwriting something meaningful is more potent than processing it in the mind or even typing.

~You’ve got this!